Strong Willed or Compliant?

Is your child or children strong willed or compliant children? Before we had children I read Dr. Dobson’s book, Raising a Very Strong Willed Child and I had PRAYED and begged the Lord for compliant children. Then along came Emma and Megan, I would have to say pretty easy babies. They both were very easy to implement the Baby Wise series in their eating, sleeping, and playing routines, but wow is Emma giving us a run for our money over the last few months. I am not sure about Megan yet, but Emma is DEFINITELY a strong willed child and let’s just say Dobson’s book has been VERY instrumental in Juan and my parenting strategies. During this quarantine maybe you are seeing new attitudes in your children that you have never seen before, maybe they are acting out and really struggling with how to handle the restrictions/limitations that have been placed on them because of the virus. Let’s face it, we as adults are struggling with this quarantine to some degree, you have to believe our little ones are internally struggling and facing so many confusing emotions too. Tantrums may be one of their outlets to express their confusion and frustration about the changes everyone is experiencing. I know for our E, it is a battle of wanting control. Emma has brought me to my knees in prayer more then anything else I have experienced. She is teaching me this incredibly hard balance between patience, grace, love, and consistency in discipline. It is STICKEN HARD! A few days ago, after a hard fight of her surrendering her will, I sat on the steps and just prayed asking God for wisdom in some new ideas of how to help Emma process and calm her frustrations and process her emotions when she cannot have what she wants. The Lord gave me this idea of what I like to call her Bible Think Space. Let’s admit it folks, we just don’t have our own space anymore with everyone quarantined in the home. Especially for those that have really young ones, with bigger families, or like us live in a city home. So, this week we created a little Bible Think Space for Emma. It is a place she will go when she is having a bad attitude, frustrated, or when we sense a ‘battle of the wills’ coming on. This space is still in the main room, so she is not isolated. I was really convicted to never isolate Emma by herself and have her work through her emotions and frustrations completely alone. Quality time is her love language and that would absolutely not be helpful in those moments where her anger or frustration is elevated. The idea is that this Bible Think Space is a tactic used BEFORE a discipline or consequence is even needed. This space gives her time to recollect and evaluate what she is really frustrated about and CALM DOWN so she can communicate it clearly. Y’all parenting is hard and we need as many tactics and strategies as possible to raise our children in the fear of the Lord. How did we go about implementing it?

1. First I showed her, her think space
2. I explained the purpose and when she will use it
3. I showed her what she can do when she is in this space.; read a book, hug a lovey, play an activity of the week, look at the Bible verses
4. Taught the Bible verses and the meaning of the images in them

I explained that this space was not for discipline, but if she were to continue with the bad attitude, tantrum, or incorrect responses after her think time she will have one. Her choices after think time will determine a consequence or not. So, I hope maybe this will spark an idea for your family needs and that you are encouraged that you are not alone. Always seek God for wisdom! He gives so liberally when we truly humble ourselves and cling to His guidance. I attached the Bible graphics and verse in English and Spanish. The graphics go perfectly with the key points of the verse so it is MEMORABLE for non-readers and toddlers. May God bless you during this quarantining!!!